LET ME tell you a short story. This story is about six young monkeys raised and caged in a back room of a pet shop. Aware that these are the smartest and most loved among all his animals in his care, the shop keeper planned to dress them up a little to put up for display in the main store room soon. These are a happy bunch of monkeys he has ever had as a shop keeper and even once intended to keep them for himself and take it at home.

Since they will be put up on display soon, his monkeys need to look attractive so one afternoon the shop keeper asked his wife to make six blue scarves for his six monkeys. The shop keeper’s wife, expectedly, was dumbfounded to hear her husband’s peculiar request. Nevertheless, being an obedient and loving wife as she always has been, made six blue scarves anyway without question. The following day, the shop keeper brought in the six blue scarves and straightaway wore it around the necks of his six playful monkeys. Almost immediately all six monkeys shot up excitedly, danced around and shrieking with joy as if to proudly announce to every animal in the shop keeper’s store “we have a new toy to play on!”. Oh it was a sight to see, the shop keeper thought, and he has never seen his monkeys so happy and invigorated like ever before. He was so proud of what he has done that he even invited some of his friends to see his happy dancing monkeys. It was one of the happiest days he has had as a pet shop keeper while at the same time the owner commended him with full confidence on his wonderful upkeep.

A day before all his monkeys will be moved to the main display room, the shop keeper decidedly wanted to add more color and vibrancy. He got home that evening and asked his wife one more time to make another set of scarves only this time just three yellow scarves. His wife, unusually reposed from a baffling request, made the three yellow scarves and was quite anxious what his husband will do with just only three scarves. The next day, the shop keeper hurriedly ran to the pet shop, got to the monkeys cage, took the scarves of the three monkeys and replaced with the new yellow scarves his wife has made.

The monkeys were again were jumping, dancing and screaming with joy except only this time those that still wore the old blue scarves remain unusually silent and unmoved. The monkeys that wore the old blue scarves remained quiet and slowly, yet progressively, distanced themselves from those other three with the new yellow scarves. The monkeys also began to group themselves according to the color of the scarves they wore and only played among themselves. The store keeper observed that it was like there was another wall separating the groups (blue and yellow) inside the cage though he was tempted to take them all off but held it back for very good reasons. It was a highly unusual sight to see that all six monkeys he raised together and equally loved discriminated one another just because of the color of the scarves they wore for a very short time.

On that day, the shop keeper moved the first two monkeys with yellow scarves to another bigger cage near the display window in the main room; a place where the owner can see them in full loving view. So, there remain only four in the back room; three monkeys with old blue scarves and one with new yellow scarf. However, the shop keeper took a little more time to get back as he moved his first two monkeys to its new place which he had prepared days before for all his six monkeys he dearly loved. As he got back, seeing the cage in the back room from a distant corner in his shop, he only saw three monkeys standing tensed and huddled snuggly in one corner, all three except one.

As he got closer, one monkey was laying flat on the cage floor, not moving, bloodied and lifeless. The once youthful, jolly, playful and trusting monkey has languished in fear and extreme pain before his soul departed his now lifeless body. He was bitten, smitten, pulled and broken by the other three monkeys all because he was different as was expected of him to be by the keeper. The difference that could have brought fresh vibrance in his shop has instead caused his monkey’s very dear life in the end. Wrapped tightly on the neck of that lifeless body is a worn-out and bloodied scarf that used to be the color of the lustrous sun – yellow.

The Author’s Message:
All of us are made equally the same. Neither anyone can say that the other is far better or far worse, right or wrong, saved or expelled. However, we are discriminatingly made diverse according to His grand plans that our crude brains can’t fathom. What made us different from each other is our very own unique set of personal philosophies, principles and morals standards – our colored scarves of our choosing. Although, unlike the monkeys in the story, we all chose to be different as formed by our environment and experiences. In our case, we chose to be yellow.

If you are with me and willing to see beyond what we all both feel, let us join together, take away all that may distract our view, work together, know together and discover how we can uncover the truth. Just take that chance and wear our yellow scarves just for once and we’ll show you what we see from this end unencumbered.

MY FAMILY and I has been attending a protestant church for several years now that is not only a historically important landmark in the City but it is also pregant with leadership conflicts and controversies in the past that eventually caused a serious congregational breakup atleast at one point in time . A dark past that is not only shameful but outright irresponsible among some previous Church leaders. Sure, no church is perfect but this one never seem to learn from it’s mistakes and get back on track.

I am a Catholic all throughout by birth and education but has been attending a Protestant Church primarily because my wife is one and my kids attend Sunday School which they enjoy and learn very much. A Protestant Church somewhat has a different form of governance with a leadership structure that is not the same as the Catholics. It didn’t really matter to me where I attend so long as my entire family is together praising Christ.

This year, my wife got elected as the new officer in the Board of Council (a governing body in a Protestant Church) with a position as Financial Auditor. A very important and critical organizational function however, it is also a position popularly disliked (and quite understandably) by many Church staff. Despite the numerous challenges, it is a task that must be done objectively if it is to ensure sound financial positioning to sustain longevity in any organization – this Church is no exception.

From then on, showing active participation and genuine concern, much of our meal time (and bedtime) talks now involves church affairs among others, and unfortunately it was always an unpleasant and an emotional one. Overtime, what apparently seem to be a superficial and fleeting Church concerns now seem to be a deeply rooted problem as old as the Church itself – a complete disregard to the Church Laws by the loud few. This Church has long been governed by cultural beliefs, traditional practices, subjective opinions and personal wisdom. While all these may prove practical at some point, it is also the root of the problem we are having in this Church. The dangerous ideologies of some men(and women) of the cloth that the Cross should be the Gavel in church governance.

The Church Law (the Gavel) was made to protect, equitable for all, and pursue the true Christian cause. It is specific and objective as it can be and intended to remain that way. It serve as a guideline for people to be also efficient, organized, and productive while eliminating all human biases. The Church Constitution may be man-made but it is firmly grounded and balanced on Christian Principles and Biblical Truths. Running an organization (or in this case the Church) by theology alone is insufficient.

Theology (the Cross), as the sole basis for governance is very much not enough. It does not mean it lacks the moral groundwork to be effective for management use, but because it is easily made subjective and highly maleable from its true meaning by people with incongruous visions of the Church. The very same acts now practiced by the loud and highly boisterous few.

In my wisdom and understanding, for the church to stand the test of time while continue to be the support for all Christians, first it has to make everyone undserstand the timeless value of the Church Law and why it should be held as the guiding principles. If this fails, governance and leadership also fails as what is happening to this church now – the rule of the mob.

Very recently, my business just went through minor management setback. From out of the blue, employees began questioning about their salaries and benefits.Though it was previously made clear on their contracts, they wanted to know more how pay is computed, benefits are given and how much they should ought to be receiving after they compared their pay with other co-workers. In my business, I operate on the premise of Christian principles of honesty and fairness. I always make sure that I pay proper government taxes and give to employees what is due to them. What is even more unusual is that this happened coincidentally after hiring a new staff a little over ten days ago. This worlplace phenomena is disturbing but nothing unique so I went on to investigate.

This new employee’s job has many administrative and people managment functions. Part of the requirements to fill-in the position are: good PR skill, self-reliance and can lead a small group of people. On her first day, she was able to blend in so well with the rest of my old staff. It’s not difficult not to like this person in fact, I began confiding to her some information not many employee has privilege of knowing. Yes, she is that good. Probably, too good that it has caused this problem in the first place.

It was brought to my attention that the new employee (office ‘goat’) was the one who started the turmoil and created an unwelcome stir in the workplace. I was hesitant to believe at first since we were both doing well personally and I cannot see a flaw in her character that will make me believe so. However, I did not turn a deaf ear on them and continue to listen to their (including my wife) counsel. After close deliberation and interviews with some trusted employees, I was able to gain enough hard evidences to boot the office goat with no second thoughts.

Office goats are complainers and naturally loves to court troubles everywhere they go. There are many goats in workplaces and the biggest challenge is identifying and strategically removing them without involving a number of good people. Office goats are highly influencial and can easily find strong group support for every cause they make.

I managed my office goat by removing her right away. I Informed her that no matter how good the intention of her cause was, it is insignificant unless it was delivered in a proper manner. Creating a tension on the management by spreading malicious rumors was never a good move. The best thing she could have done is to talk to the management and let the management deal with the people accordingly. It is also worthy of noting that after having the office goat removed, talking to the entire staff about it and confronting the problem head on to come up with a resolution. The moment you see a goat in your workplace, don’t take too long to talk to them and remove them the soonest possible before it becomes unmanageable.

Everyone has a metaphor for Life. Some say Life is like an ice cream – irresistibly full of colorful indulgences. Or, a roller coaster where you get all the highs when you’re up but gloomy when it’s down. There are many things we can compare life with but for me, Life is a game of Chess.

A chess piece (in a standard 40 piece chessboard) have limited yet unique movements and individually can’t do much. When played, however, it has more than the number of subatomic particles in the known universe of combinations to play it! Possible combinations of the first four opening moves alone is 318,979,564,000 and that’s a whole lot of options! The objective as we all know is simple, whoever captures the king first wins. Life, like a game of Chess, has three basic elements to be successful. First, the will to succeed (aggressive movement); second, knowledge (mastery and decision making); and third, wealth (number of chess pieces). Coincidentally, these are also the three main kinds of power according to Alvin Toffler’s book “Powershift”.

Power may be held through in a variety of ways such as: the power of physical or moral expertise, the power of persuasion, the power of knowledge, the power of force, the power of group dynamics, the power of social influence, the power of charisma, the power of delegated authority and the power in relationships.
We all live and breathe by it and attaining Power is probably the most basic human need that feeds our very existence. A natural compulsion to survive, to belong and be functional in this temporary universe we call life.

We can learn a great deal to attain power in this ancient game. Principles, we can use in our everyday lives in the pursuit to control our environment or behavior of different entities. Principles that prove essential for living.

Principle #1:

Always have a plan. Each move should have a purpose

Principle #2:

Know when to sacrifice pieces to save the king

Principle #3:

Know when to retreat

Principle #4:

Create a diversion to hide your game plan

Principle #5:

Spread your chess pieces well

Principle #6:

Know your opponent

Principle #7:

Patiently wait for weak openings

Principle #8:

Play aggressively

Principle #9:

Value each piece as if each piece is a king

Principle #10:

Be confident or pretend to be one if you aren’t

Principle #11:

Gain control of the center of the board

Principle #12:

Don’t expose the queen to early

Principle #13:

Do not move pawns indiscriminately. They cannot move back

Principle #14:

Play only to win

Principle #15:

View the entire board

Principle #16:

Know and understand your opponent’s every move

Principle #17:

Attack with more than two pieces at different areas

Principle #18:

Plan every move with the opponent’s threats in mind

Principle #19:

Move with the least possible threat and time

Principle #20:

Make each opening a race to control as much of the board as possible

• Ephesians 5:22-24 (above),
• Genesis 3:16: “…Your(the wife) desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.“; and
• 1 Corinthians 11:3: ” But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God“.

The Bible is as vivid as the clear water in spring time on the authority of husbands over their household and to their wives as well. He didn’t say:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands when… or
Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands if…

No!

The command is absolute, unconditional, and all encompassing. It is neither vague in meaning, contradictory nor subject to any other forms interpretation. Submission IS a must to make a marriage work according to God’s plan. I know many women today, my wife included, finds it unfair or unjust but there shall only be one driver in every household – the husbands.

The Psychology
In my personal opinion (because don’t have the numbers to support it), this is one of the primary causes of marriage breakups among modern families today – wives having too much liberty to go against the their husbands will. Consequently, husbands feel less important in the decision making process on affairs of the household leaving them feeling diminutive, resentful and hurt at the same time. The only pride every family man has is his authority and respect at home and if he cannot have that, he will surely look somewhere else where he can regain it. I am not justifying this action just stating the obvious possible consequences of wives’ resistance.

The Bigger Picture
Women today asks: “Is it rightfully just to submit when he (husbands) is making wrong decisions every time?” My answer is still a resounding yes! Not because I am also a husband, but because it is the right balance. The bigger picture here is not about who is in control or if it is justifiable, but it is about building the strength of every relationship through unconditional submission. Submission supports pride to a man; submission bring comfort; submission brings confidence and complete trust to wives; and submission brings strength, happiness, and above all love to the entire household.

All of us has at some point been in a situation of a heated conversation. I for one had several fits with my wife most specially on parenting and social issues. In most cases, when left unchecked, it can go awry and downright ugly making everyone involved very resentful in the end.

Communication is an art form. It takes knowledge, practice and more over patience to learn the skill. It cannot happen just by reading this blog but it’s a good start though because you are made aware. To keep communication in control, I outlined my personal and simple guidelines to keep in mind. The list may be short and simplistic yet, it’s not easy to follow.

1. Listen first and listen more

We are often quick to be on a ‘defensive stance’ when someone complains. We immediately interrupt and make our point heard with a curt tone. Listening first and listening more is a good place to start controlling conversation. Let the other party vent out all utterances until everything is said. Never try to interrupt. This will show that you are really serious in attending to their concerns.

2. Emotionally prepare yourself.

If you see a conversation ‘going loose’; immediately say to yourself quietly that you will not be swayed by emotions. Show up that poker face to demonstrate that you are unmoved to what is going on. To prepare emotionally is to ask yourself the root cause of confrontation and what will be your objective in resolving the issues. Having known these, it’s easier to keep focus throughout the confrontation.

3. Get away from the ‘blame-frame’

Blaming does not resolve anything even when the other party is at fault. Remember, no one likes to look more stupid than the other guy so blaming will definitely not help. Be conscious on every word that’s been said and maneuver away from the blame-frame at all cost when you see it coming. Blaming undoubtedly will put more fuel to the fire.

5. Hold back on shrewed and discriminating comments

When you are tempted to say words that discriminates or make sarcastic comments, hold it back since surely nothing good will come out of it. Do not even make faces or actions that will display dissatisfaction like crossing your arm, head shaking, a sarcastic smile, scratching your head and etc. All these are easily read as unpleasant to the other person.

4. Always keep an open mind.

Every individual has its own unique set of life principles, philosophies and personalities. Their utterances are based on these complex mix and and putting ourselves in their shoes makes them easily understood. Therefore, do not judge others based on our own set of principles rather, leveling with them makes us see things in a totally different light thus is the beginning of true understanding.

5. Get all the facts straight.

Before a word is even uttered, try to get the facts straight first. Make sure that sources of information is reliable and not coming from unsupported claims. Jumping into a dialogue without seeing the bigger picture first is like the blind men and the elephant analogy. Knowing a few facts does not paint the entire picture. Get all the facts first and get it straight. If facts cannot be made available, asking the other party to confirm will help. Never insist on something that isn’t and unsupported.

6. Talk in a mild mannered tone

This part is not not gender-specific, it happens to women as well but more commonly among men. Keeping a mild tone and deliberately slow conversation maintains calm environment that both parties can enjoy talking while avoiding confrontational conversation.

In an effort to define the word “integrity”, I came up with some explanations, after consulting some dictionaries and encyclopaedias.

Integrity is made up of several words, meanings and synonyms. It consists of a lot of what can be described as ethical and moral values or civilised values.

1. Soundness:

This refers to how healthy an opinion, argument, reasoning or a research finding is, implying how free it is from flaw, defect or decay.

Also, how free is it from error, fallacy, or misapprehension; exhibiting or based on thorough knowledge and experience; legally valid; logically valid and having true premises; agreeing with accepted views.

It also means solid, firm, stable and thorough; showing good sense or judgment based on valid information.

2. Completeness:

It means having all necessary parts, elements, or steps; highly proficient; totally, absolutely, thoroughly and fully carried out; including all possible parts.

3. Sincerity:

It means fairness and straightforwardness of conduct; adherence to the facts.

4. Honesty:

It implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way.

5. Honor:

It suggests an active or anxious regard for the standards of one’s profession, calling, or position.

6. Probity:

It implies tried and proven honesty or truthfulness.

7. Incorruptibility:

It implies trustworthiness and truthfulness to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility or pledge.

It also finally means being incapable of corruption; not subject to decay or dissolution; incapable of being bribed or morally corrupted.

Conclusion:

The question to be asked is where does a nation stand with regard to these principles of integrity; where does an organisation or political party stand and finally what is my individual position? This synonymous question can also be asked: How civilised are we?

One time, I called on to have a talk with my sister over dinner after she announced her plan to resign from work. With only a few short months of leading a medical team that provide annual physicals to our clients, she’s ready to pack up and leave. The reason: she was frustrated and disappointed from her team members’ incapability to follow her exact instructions thus, according to her, they keep making too many mistakes in the process. Because of this, she felt things were out of control which explains her frustrations and helplessness towards work. Things weren’t going well as she wants and expects it to be and she want out. I continued to listen as she pours out all her negative emotions toward her team that went to almost an hour until she finally asked for my advice.

My sister, and like many more others, has a different view and understanding of leadership. Clearly for them, leadership is telling people to follow a set of procedures and expects them to follow to the letter. Just like what Henry Ford once complained: “Why do I always get the entire person when I only need is a pair of hands”.

Having lead an IT and medical technology department for more that six years combined, I have learned through experience how to nurture work teams and recognize signs that makes them tick. Overall, for my part, leadersip is letting go than controlling. Identifying strengths and liberating creativity than imposing restrictive rules. It all starts with enablement.

Enabling teams is the very first step in bringing out creativity and achieve maximum performance among team members. The following are some useful tips I have learned along the way while leading people in my workplace.

1. Recognize Individual Strengths

Everyone one is unique and are very capable in their own respects. It is counter productive to assign an indivudual on tasks that are not naturally his/her strengths. This can be done by observing closely how individual members work on their regular tasks and if they are passionate and able to do things well in short time – a skill. Start observing things like: how they organize their desks during and after work, the way they talk, the way they write, personal grooming, performance of work duties and etc. These provide small but important clues on how members work naturally and what sort of tasks to assign to them.

2. Failure Is An Option

I remembered a phrase from a well renowned director, James Cameron, while giving a talk at one of the TED conferences. In contrast to popular wisdom particularly in the field of business and sports, he said “Failure must be an option. Fear isn’t”. Human as we all are, we all make mistakes – period. As leaders, one must have high tolerances for mistakes for it is through them that we discover and learn from.

3. Nurture Independence

The time when I spearheaded an IT team for about six years, my ideas (I thought) were the best ideas until we huddled together for a brainstorming session. I was surprised what my team came up with with a bright idea with very minimum project detail. Work independence means providing them the freehand to think creatively based on their personal strengths. Only one must do, as a leader, is to give and clarify work objectives. Objectives, in this case, must not be too specific as this restricts creative thinking and innovation. Objectives must be very clear and general.

4. Provide necessary tooling

This is the very basic need for every worker in a workplace – tooling. This may be in the form of office supplies, books, softwares, computers or other equipments. In my IT team, I do provide only books and fast intrnet connection and I leave the rest for them to think. One good example in my experience was to look for a solution to integrate communication services in our office.We have emails, chats, document management, and calendar from different providers and ofcourse, with different user logins. Such setup was too much to manage as an administrator. If we were a big company, I can easily opt to buy an expensive software of the rack to finally solve this problem – but money was scarce. With time, patience and an internet connection, I was able to scour for the best solution for a very small fraction of a price.

It must always be remembered that tooling is used to build something economically and much faster. However, simple tools can also be made to make other more complex tools. One of those simple tools, yet the most important one, is the worker’s mind.

5. Promote Creativity

A leader’s idea is not always the best idea. This is most often times difficult for many leaders to accept. Many leaders are trapped in the thought of them having only the best ideas to contribute thus lending a hand to team inefficiency – unknowingly. Each member has different personal experiences and diffrent set of expertise based from learned experiences. Each one has unique potential that when pulled together can always create maximum results.

Google is one of the many companies I admire that promotes and welcomes new ideas. Their 20 Percent Factor is one novel way of promoting and supporting ideas from employees. In fact, many of their popular services came from their 20 Percent program. No wonder they always come up with better ideas all the time.

6. Strip out rules that hamper creative processes

An oil painter depends largely on his physical capacity and emotions. These are the only set of parameters that he recognize and limits his ability to paint another Mona Lisa. As with any other creative process it must not be defined by strict rules or policies that are common among manfacturing industries. Many companies believe that implementing the same manufacturing stanards like: Six Sigma and ISO will produce the same maximum results. Humans are not like robots that can be restricted in too much bureaucracies and expect significant results. Humans achieve milestone results when allowed to think beyond boundaries of rules, beliefs or any standards.

7. Create a happy environment

Happy employees achieves better outcomes. Any enoromous task, no matter how difficult it can get, becomes easy and light to take on to a happy employee. I experience this first hand in my IT team even when faced with a seemingly impossible task. I noticed also that they are also the most productive employees yet with the most challenging jobs.

Often I have asked myself before why people leave their work for another and how we (as a company) can help curb this exodus without unnecessarily giving pay increases right away.
While some people I asked about the reason for leaving their old jobs says it’s their low salaries many, I believe, would have rather stayed longer if only the following will be provided for them even without salary increase.

1. Additional healthcare coverage

Though they already have their existing medicare plan, it still is insufficient and would require members to contribute a certain percentage of the total healthcare cost. Getting an add-on healthcare plan to supplement medicare provides flexibility and convenience to your employees. Providing healthcare plans shows that the company is serious about the health and well-being of their employees and their respective families as well. Many will cling-on to a company because of excellent healthcare plans.

2. Establish a compelling reason for them to stay longer.

Good employees always looks to staying to a company until they retire. One of the many things they always consider aside from healthcare privileges are: nature of business, longevity of business, its profitability and of course their boss’ character. As an employer, one must give a very compelling reason for them to stay and really stick with it. This could be job security or other employee benefits. This must be clearly conveyed early and the company must not lose focus on achieving this for their employees.

3. Allocate enough ‘leg room’ for fun at work.

Many companies disregard this single yet most important aspect in work – fun. For many, employees must always focus and be serious at work to achieve its productivity goals. While it might be true to manufacturing companies, it is quite the opposite to the service and technology industry where I work. In my experience, providing ‘leg room’ for fun even promotes creativity and increased employee camaraderie. Don’t be afraid to experiment and find your niche that works.

4. Give milestone perks.

Everyone wants to be recognized by the efforts and hard work they put in to their company. It is just but appropriate to give small rewards of their efforts as one form of recognition. They may not necessarily be in cash but in forms that the employee will appreciate. This may be movie tickets or a good book to name a few. This way, they will surely feel important and that they will strive to their best and stay loyal whenever possible.

5. Provide a Savings and Loan Program.

There will surely be times where your employees need to borrow some money from the company for emergency or other immediate purposes. Protect those employees from loan sharks and provide a program where they can benefit in the long run. It is particularly helpful if a company can setup or guide the employee to enroll in a cooperative or any other form of savings and loan program. This will help employees to save and earn at the same time while at work within the company.

6. Create outdoor activities for employees (and their families)

Fun should not only involve employees but all their family members as well. Provide fellowship activities among family members within the company like an outing at the park, a children’s day, a family city tour and other things that everyone can get involved. This provide a very good avenue for closer camaraderie among employees and their family members.

7. Be a good leader to your employees

Of course what a good working environment does not only involve a comfortable work place or having wonderful co-employees but also having a leader that knows how to tap the potentials of his employees and leading them to success. There are lots of qualities what a good leader should be but in my opinion, I will just include what I feel are the most important ones: 1) cool tempered, 2)understanding 3) and a model.